I Know It's Not Perfect, But It's Life

I want to post in here, but I can't.

So, I don't know how long I will be absent from here, but I will be gone for a bit.

Until I can write again.

Adieu.

Haven't update this thing in forever. I guess I haven't had much to say to it. Not sure what is happening with me. Not sure at all.

All I know is something's gotta change.

Sooner or later.

-Josh

Last update from 254 North Case Hall.

Lots of different emotions sprawled from this computer in this very room all year long.
Kind of crazy to think how I came to Case Hall, and how I'm leaving.

Still very unsure of what the future holds for me.
Makes me very uneasy.

Hopefully life in Delta Arms will prove to be just as fantastic.
Hopefully life in Clinton Twp. will prove not to be so ordinary.

So here's to the laughter and smiles, tears and frowns, and confused randomness that life in the dorms has held for me.

Goodbye.

Just had a 60 minute conversation with my sister Tiffany over the most important/pointless stuff ever. I loved it. This was one of the moments where I really realize how alike we actually are. Some of our shared insecurities, thoughts for the future, memories of the past, and humor in laughing at large, underdressed fat men washing cars. HaHaHa...

I am gonna bawl like a baby when she walks down that aisle...

234 Days until I am 21. lol. The only reason I know that is because Tiff was sending me random emails and one had the Birthday Calculator and it told me how many days until my next birthday, which just happens to be my 21st. But Hooray!






Sarah just helped me realize what I am investing in: 4 Kids, Golden Anniversary, A Dog, And White Picket Fencing...

What am I waiting for?
A fuckin' brick to hit me on the head?

Jesus, Josh. Get your shit together.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

2 exams down, 2 to go.
Not sure how either are going to go. But I think if I actually start studying now, instead of updating livejournal, I might have a shot of coming out of this week with a little pride.

I just want to sleep. Oh, how I miss you sleep. And I have this sinking feeling next week at Leadershape you will be once again absent.

Gosh darn it.

And I want to be home.
And I want a job.
And I want have a good summer.

I want alot.

But is alot too much to ask for?

And a whole summer without Grey's? Boo...

I feel like my phone never rings anymore either. What happened there?




Now that I have basically whined my way through an entire entry, know that I am thankful for chocolate chip cookies.

I'm not afraid of growing old
Or dying young or never finding someone
And I'm not scared of the great unknown
Or being alone when it's all said and done
I'm braver than I used to be
But there's still some things in life that terrify me

What about a phone call in the middle of the night
You whispering so she can't overhear you telling me
You still want me desperately
What about a knock on the door at 3 AM
Don't have to hear your voice
To know you've been drinking
What if my hand opens the door and lets you in
Oh no what if I can't say no again

I drive right by that old restaurant
The one we used to haunt
Without turning my head
And I don't think twice about killing the lights
Yeah I sleep through the nights
Without you in my bed
And knowing I don't need you here
Should leave me nothing to fear

What about a phone call in the middle of the night
You whispering so she can't overhear you telling me
You still want me desperately
What about a knock on the door at 3 AM
Don't have to hear your voice
To know you've been drinking
What if my hand opens the door and lets you in
Oh no what if I can't say no again

What about a phone call in the middle of the night
You whispering so she can't overhear you telling me
You still want me desperately
What about a knock on the door at 3 AM
Don't have to hear your voice
To know you've been drinking
What if my hand opens the door and lets you in
Oh no what if I can't say no again

Oh no what if I can't say no again

Made it through my classes for this year. Shocker. For sure thought I was going to fail out.

Half the people I am living with next year are criminals. Who would have thought? I still love'em.

Meeting with Tami today went extremly well. We both seem to be on the same page. I like that.

I really thought I was going to get this break over the summer from UAB, but that doesn't look too good.
Damn it.

I left my laundry in the washing machine for like 3 extra hours yesterday. I'm a little absent minded lately, I know.

I do not want to start studying for finals already. Two on Monday, Econ & Mass Media Comm. One on Wednesday, Research methods. And the final one on Friday, effin' biology.

Sick.

My eyes are really itchy all of the sudden. I hate allergies.

Finals time means one thing: lots of updates. :)

Josh = hungry.




I just want to go home. But I am home for one night and then to LeaderShape I go.
So anyone want to get wasted with me next Friday night while I do laundry?
The Captain & that bald clorox man can make it happen...

Funny how time gets you from there to here. But I guess it's not just time but the people and events that guide and accompany you through those times. The way people affect you. The way they touch you. The events that make you think twice. The events that make you question everything. Well, as April draws to a close, I think it is only proper to pay homage to those people and times.

The ones that got me here.

Molly said something quite enduring to me today as we sat in the office both spending unneeded time on facebook. As I glimpsed through my past, she pointed out to me that that's when you know. When you don't have to look to the past, but to the future. And not that the future won't have them there, but your own futures might coincide with each other at one point. I like that. I like that hopefully our world's could possibly coincide at some time. So that you can remember the past and embrace the future.

In the car on Monday, Rachel said possibly one of the sweetest things to me. I guess it's when you don't try to be that something for someone, that you end up being exactly what they needed, or maybe even more. That's how I would like to be remembered. As a person who was exactly what he wanted to be, and it ended up being exactly what someone else needed to. You can't guess or interpret what others need. What they need is someone who is true, not only to them, but to themselves as well.

Being in a place where you can completely be yourself, is a special place. Not many people can be there. People think adopting to the ways of a set group makes you a part of that group when in reality you are nothing but a replica of what someone else once brought through. Bring something new. Be unique. Be yourself.

I wish I could love you like I used to. But those two people are gone now.
And, I have accepted it. Hopefully, for good.
It is time for me to let your memory go.




My life shall touch a dozen lives
Before this day is done.
Leave countless marks of good or ill,
Ever sets the evening sun.

This, the wish I always wish,
The prayer I always pray:
Lord, may my life help other lives
It touches by the way.

RULES: Each player of this game starts with "6/as many weird things and habits about yourself as you'd like" and people who get tagged need to write a blog of their 6/as many weird habits and things as you'd like as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose as many people as you'd like to be tagged and list their names. Let the game begin.

1. I try to eat all of one color of a pack of M&M's at a time. Like eat all of the brown ones first. Then eat the orange ones. And so on, until only one color is left. Usually, green or blue.

2. I can usually name the song and artist of any song on a light rock, top 40, or country radio station. And usually within the first few seconds.

3. I love watermelon flavoring like in jollyranchers and drinks, but won't eat the actual fruit.

4. Own more hooded sweatshirts than necessary.

5. I stick my tongue out whenever I am concreting really hard like reading or writing. And when I used to play the saxophone in high school, I used to stick my tongue out in between breathes.

6. When I get drunk, I become the most agreeable and affectionate person. People can basically tell me to drop out a window and I would over to it. And just ask my friends how affectionate... I like to give hugs and kisses (THE GOOD KIND PERVERTS!)

I tag the following people: Britt G., Meagan B., & Kevin A.